Men’s Corner

Therapy Experiences & Resources for Men

Client, Austin, Tx. November 12, 2010
I want to start off by thanking Judith for her honest and open approach in which she helped me improve my marriage.  I was relatively skeptical on marriage counseling and ws unsure how her methods or technique would help me with my issue at first.  After two sessions however, my opinion changed.  Judith really made me feel comfortable about opening up about the critical issues in my marriage and my behaviors that were driving my wife and I apart.

I came to Judith with a major marital problem on my hands due to years of not treating my wife in the manner in which was conducive to a healthy marriage.  I was unaware that my actions and neglect had created such a bad situation.  It came to a crisis situation in  which my wife came to me and told me some things that really hurt me deeply and I had a hard time understanding at first.  I was extremely confused and stressed when I first came to Judith with this matter.  She allowed me to really do some deep self analysis with her intelligent and open ended questions.  It really allowed me to step back and see how blind I was to what my wife needed from me and what so many women need from their husbands.  So many of my assumptions about women and marriage were just wrong.

I was not living a lifestyle that was attractive to my wife or healthy in a marriage.  In a nutshell, I basically made my wife feel completely ignored for several years by my actions of constntly leaving for weekend trips with my friends watching football 3 nights a week, golf outings, etc.  and not giving her much genuine love and affection enough.  I was doing many things that were making me happy and relieving my stress without considering her feelings.  I believe many men probably are in the same situation as me now or will be in the near future due to their ignorance of women’s needs of their own selfish agendas.  I ws basically living a bachelor lifestyle (no cheating involved) as a married man with a 4 year old daughter and was completely oblivious to the damage it was doing to my marriage and my wife’s well being.  My continuous actions led to my wife harboring major resentment toward me along with being deeply hurt and utterly disgusted with me over time.  I was very lucky I found Judith to work through changing my behaviors and getting a much deeper understanding of myself which in turn allowed me to become a better husband and father.

I wanted to share my story to many married men that might get themselves into this situation or most importantly how to avoid getting to the point where my wife and I had gotten.  Judith really opened my eye on understanding what women need from their husbands.  I was so superficial in my way of thinking at times and really was missing the big picture.  I have an absolutely beautiful wife that loved me, but I could not see the forest through the trees.  Judith helped me realize that women need more than a provider and “good guy” around the house to be happy and feel connected to their husbands.  A woman truly needs to feel cherished, loved and secure daily in their marriage even after more than a decade of being together in order to be deeply connected to their husbands.  It became too “comfortable” like an old pair of jeans between my wife and I over the years.  Judith and I had many dep discussions about particular situations that have come up in my marriage over the years and how to handle them in  more loving and unselfish manner.  I started to see things from my wife’s point of view and change my poor behaviors immediately after seeing Judith.  I would catch myself at certain times doing bad behaviors that created tension in our marriage before and would actually allow myself to stop that behavior in its tracks with the knowledge I had gained.  By no coincidence, my marriage turned 180 degrees for the better.  I had some serious talks with my wife and we started to communicate like we had never before, even after spending our entire adult lives together.  It was difficult at times, but the most productive conversations we might have ever had.